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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Writers: beware of your sex scene language.

I just started reading an enjoyable novel called "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger. Here's a review from a fellow whose judgement I've come to trust:

http://bluejay.mind.net/darkcrossings/timetravelerswife.html

So far, it's an intriguing story (which, as a bonus, has several references to J. J. Audubon's "Birds of America") and the time travel gimmick is fun. I'm grabbed, and I bet I'll finish the book.

However, the first sex scene contains this sentence:

"I now have an erection that is probably tall enough to ride some of the scarier rides at Great America without a parent."

I thought it was silly, but kind of cute. Then again, do I really want to be thinking about kids at an amusement park during a hot sex scene? I shared it with Eemie, who guffawed and said it was the stupidest thing ever.

I understand the need to not write the same-ol'-same-ol' sex scene, but sometimes taking a wild risk just doesn't fly. What do you think of that sentence? Lame, or not?

11 Comments:

  • At 10:31 AM, Blogger Khavren said…

    Was it a hot enough scene that the mental imagry of a penis on a roller coaster didn't distract from it? Or was the sex so wild that the comparison to a frighting amusement park ride was accurate?

     
  • At 10:46 AM, Anonymous D'nah Freespirit said…

    I'm so glad you picked up this book. I was completely wrapped up in it when I read it, and mentioned it to you guys several times. Or maybe that was only Sheryn? I forget who I was talking about it to. Oh how I wept....but then again, I usually do.

     
  • At 7:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Amusement park rides and hot sex just don't go together, especially with limits like "Under this bar, dude you need a parent!"

     
  • At 8:15 AM, Blogger Rob said…

    How old is the speaker supposed to be? It's not hot, but I could see an overcompesating 16-year old saying it.

     
  • At 2:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sorry, I haven't even read it. Just a quick question: How do you spell it Bashy or Bashi?
    =t

     
  • At 7:55 PM, Blogger Kate said…

    khavren -- Naw, it wasn't hot enough that I wasn't distracted by the image of a four-foot penis at an amusement park.

    D'nah -- I can't remember your recommending the book, but maybe that's why I put it on hold at the library (a long time ago) in the first place. Yup, it's great. I can already tell it's gonna be a tear-jerker, though.

    Rob -- The guy with the huge member is supposed to be 28, so, no, he's not a teen. I know what you mean about teenage hyperbole; I was once in line to get on the schoolbus behind a couple of teen boys, and I overheard one tell the other, "...Yeah, I got her nipples so hard, they were like Mt. Rose!" (a prominent, rocky mountain near Reno). I was 14, and shocked! Shocked, I tell you! (Although later I was a bit titillated, to be completely honest -- no pun intended.)

    anonymous #2 (Tina?) -- We spell it "Bashi" in these parts. You don't have to have read the book; I just wanted folks' opinion on that one sentence. The rest of the sex scene was pretty standard, really.

     
  • At 9:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If a man said that to me, I would screw him for sure! A sense of humor, and pride in his penis. The stuff of which good lovers are made.

    - tina

     
  • At 7:05 AM, Blogger Jaded said…

    i actually think he should have more confidence....why only some of the scarier rides instead of all of them? and why only "probably" big enough? and the mention of the word "parents" would be the end for me. game over. let's go get ice cream.

     
  • At 7:16 PM, Blogger Vilda Chaya said…

    That is it exactly. Parents. "tall enough to ride some of the rides without a parent" means I am now thinking about what? erections WITH parents?

    Roller coasters, amusement parks, height-- that could all be fine. It was the word, "parent."

     
  • At 1:22 PM, Blogger Benevolist said…

    I dig it. The silliness is really neato. It's just the sort of thing I'D like to say to express my arrousal. It would be just my style of off-the-wall-ness. But I can understand how it might distract others from true errotic hotness.

     
  • At 6:45 PM, Blogger Kate said…

    Luke -- yup.

     

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