Yellow Blog, Up High in Banana Tree

I love the beautiful world at night.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Not necessarily beautiful, but mutated.

Back to normal, almost. Many thanks to antibiotics and codeine.

Man, that was a rough case of pneumonia. I still have some fluid in my lungs, but today is the first day that I can sit up for a while without feeling the invisible force flattening me. I can breathe more freely, and inhale all the way without too many crackling noises. The fever is gone. I'm almost going to miss the high fever. Lots of interesting dreams, flat on my back, watching the moon cross the sky. Sleeping or not. I hallucinated sights and sounds. Sidewinders crossing dunes. Morse code coming through the arm of the futon. Conversations with spirochete bacteria. For a while, I wondered if I was dying.

I'm relatively sure that on the worst day (last Tuesday), I had a miscarriage. I had been having pregnancy symptoms, but they weakened, then I lost some tissue and blood. I feel sad, though frankly, I didn't have much time to get attached to the idea of this pregnancy. It's good that I didn't bleed out this time -- this miscarriage was simple and fast. It clearly wasn't a good time for me to be pregnant. I suspect that I cooked the embryo with my high fevers. That makes two miscarriages in a row, which is a little troubling. But with this second one, there were certainly extenuating circumstances.

I won't be truly alarmed until I lose three in a row.

Ugh, I need to be flat, now.


  • At 11:13 AM, Anonymous D'nah Freespirit said…

    I'm so glad you're feeling better, and upright! I'm really sorry about the miscarriage as well...

    Keep getting better and better.. the third times the charm.

  • At 7:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    and where was the mutation? Welcome back, but don't feel like you need to stop seeing things.

  • At 11:08 PM, Blogger olimommy said…

    Sometimes it's the fifth...glad your healing. I was visiting Huntington Botanical Gardens last weekend and we came upon a huge antique book about birds displayed in the museum. I thought of you and told my friend all that I had learned from your blog about odd birds and insects. She loves strange facts too and was very impressed. Thanks.

  • At 11:25 PM, Anonymous chasmyn said…

    Ugh, this all sounds horrible. And I am so, so sorry about the miscarriages. I had two miscarriages this past year before I got pregnant with this one.

  • At 12:09 AM, Blogger Kate said…

    Thanks, everybody. You're all so nice! I'm feeling better all the time.

    I'll talk about beautiful mutations when I get around to my next post. It's a DEVO thing.

  • At 1:37 AM, Blogger Benevolist said…

    Sickness dreams can kick ass. Too bad we can't record them in vivid sound and vision.


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